Leap Year Special
I honestly have no idea what this is going to be about, but on this foggy morning in Riga, I felt like it was time to write something.
Philosophy of Writing and Sharing
I have not been writing my blog because I had this moment last year where I thought… why am I sharing my life on a blog? Of course, the way my mind works led to this spiraling thought pattern of why anyone shares anything and really trying to figure out what social media is for.
No. I don’t have an answer. I love to write. I like the attention I get when I share. I like people to know what is going on with me, even if I don’t communicate with them directly. I think having a space where I have a collection of my thoughts and words is an overall good thing in my life. But is it egotistical? Narcissistic? Again, I do not know.
Without knowing, all I can do is understand that when I am writing, I feel better. It is an exercise. I do write a daily journal and lots of other things, but somehow it isn’t as rewarding as putting together a blog and sharing it with the world. Maybe someone out there can explain this phenomenon. Maybe it has something to do with performance.
Transformation
The next question is can people change? I feel like I have been going through a transformation since my divorce. Living alone here in Latvia, I have had a lot of time to think and contemplate on my life to try to come to terms with who I am and who I want to be. I have met many transformative people in the last year or so who have made me question my role in the universe. These are big idea, and it takes time to unravel the tenuous strands of truth.
On one hand, I have gone through a steady physical transformation. After I returned from the U.S. last year, I had a chat with my friend Renars who had been reading a book about longevity. It really made me think that my current state of life was unsustainable, and I would not have a good old age carrying on like I was. So I made a few changes.
- I don’t buy bread anymore for the house. I still occasionally eat bread if I go out, but I have cut down considerably.
- I don’t buy any candy or sweets for myself. Again, I may have dessert if I go out somewhere, but not at home by myself.
- I cut down on drinking.
- I joined a gym and exercise regularly.
- I make candles.
Okay, the last one doesn’t really have to do with anything, but it is true. I have not weighed myself in years, so I honestly don’t know how much weight I have lost, but I can now fit into clothes that I couldn’t fit into before. I am not in amazing shape, but I am much better than I was. I feel more active and fit in general. My overall lethargy and laziness has dissipated. I find myself working most of the time on something or other.
Work
I am in a strange place in terms of work. I had a job working with the Riga French Lyceum, which was a decent enough job, but the pay was not great and I honestly don’t think I am cut out to be a full-time high school teacher anymore. I just don’t have what it takes.
I now have several different jobs that are all related to teaching. My main gig is teaching in the Foundation program at RTU where I am teaching students from Turkey, France, Uzbekistan, China, and a few other countries how to improve their English skills to prepare them for international university studies. It has been rewarding so far, and I love the cultural exchange that is built into the system.
I also have private students and a corporate teaching gig. These are great for flexibility and a constant flux state of “what am I going to do today?” But I don’t have benefits or any sort of back up if everything should suddenly stop. The good news is that I don’t feel worried because things have always worked out somehow.
I think I have always been waiting for the dust to settle in my life, but I have to realize that I am the dust.
Personal Life
As some of you know, I have been doing standup comedy for a few months now. On Friday nights, there is an open mic hosted by Borderline Comedy. I got involved with them after a harrowing night of Karaoke with my friend Lara. I realized that I loved being on stage and performing, but singing isn’t really my avenue.
After my first five minute set, I was hooked. I had forgotten how much I love to perform on stage. Once a theater kid, always a theater kid?
Some nights go better than others, but I always have new material. I find it difficult to work on a set over and over and tell the same jokes the same way. I have some repeating themes, but I usually start with an outline and then feel the crowd. This works okay, and it gives me a sense of satisfaction that I am able to just get up and riff for five minutes while having some thread. I guess years and years of teaching will do that to a person.
I mean, what is a teacher but a standup comedian who works several sets every day… doing hour-long specials from time to time? When you think about the amount of talking a teacher does in their lifetime, it is pretty insane. All day, every day, talking to explain things to people over and over again. Incredible. All teachers out there should take a bow.
On another note, I am very happy to say that I have a wonderful woman in my life. Her name is Baiba and we have been together for about six months now. She is a lovely human, and I am quite happy that we have had the chance to meet. The world is a crazy place, so it helps to have someone else to be crazy with.
Other Things
It has been a long, snowy winter, but it has also been pretty magical. I am happy that it is lighter now, and we can sense that spring is just around the corner.
In other news, I went to Ireland and drove on the right-hand side of the road on narrow twisting roads with rock walls on either side making it impossible to avoid collisions. At one point, I had to back up on a curvy hill with a semi-truck (lorry) coming at me head on. Luckily we were both driving slow. I also saw the Cliffs of Moher which were magical. It was a windy, rainy day, not meant for man nor beast, but I braved Nature’s wrath to see a natural wonder.
I have spent several weekends in Liepāja visiting my friend Anita and the Fontaine Palace. It is my dance-party getaway. I also discovered a magical masseuse who seems to have figured out why I have pain all over.
I was in a Rimi Christmas commercial as an angry baker, and I had a small speaking role in a movie. The movie was filmed in Ventspils at the Latvija Concert Hall and is about the world-famous organist, Iveta Apkalne. So when I saw that she was playing a concert in Ventspils, I had to attend. Baiba and I went, and it was pretty magical to see her accompanying the professional choir, Latvija.
Final Thoughts
Overall, I feel blessed in life. I think that growing older and wiser has given me more perspective on life. I hope that all of you are doing well.
Side Note
This is going to sound a bit off-topic, but since I started my new diet, I have been wondering why we even have things like potato chips and candy bars, and why they are so prevalent? They do no good and have no value other than empty calories and addiction. I feel like in 50 years or so, we will look at vending machines of the past as poison dispensers.
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